Crossroads

photo: anankkml-freedigitalphotos.net

I got my big girl panties very early in life; so early that I can’t know for sure whether I was born with them or whether they came with the birth of my sister three years later.  You know, big sisters have a big job to do – don’t we always tell our children that?

Big girl panties, though, are often just fear and denial masquerading as courage and strength.  

Sometimes it takes more faith to fall apart with Jesus than praying for faith to stop it from happening. – Bonnie Gray, Faith Barista 

So, here I am at the crossroads of Big Girl Panties and Jesus, Denial and Truth, Strife and Rest. 

If I don’t become myself I am going to die in the wilderness.  That is the ultimate destination of Highway Big Girl Panties. 

In Sunday School yesterday the teacher asked, “What are some of the things we are hoping for?”  I didn’t have the courage to be completely honest and scream from my heart, “PEACE!”  My contribution?  Security.  Security. 

Perhaps Security Street was the first wrong turn in my adult life.  It is possible, you know, to wander life’s streets without knowledge of route or destination.  You can start out aimlessly wandering in childlike innocence and wake up dozens of years later far, far away from home.

One thing is certain:  just as the journey to “here” did not happen overnight the journey to myself will be a long process and I must be patient.